


Little Star

by Niki



Series: Twinkle [1]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (1978)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Adoption, Backstory featuring an abusive home, Families of Choice, Family, Getting Together, Kid Fic, M/M, Small Fandom Big Bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starbuck has someone new in his life, ‘someone special,’ and Apollo is not happy. </p><p>
  <i>Apollo would always claim he was not surprised, really, to open his door to see a sheepishly smiling Starbuck holding Ella’s hand only centares after they left. He’d say he’d seen the ties that bound the two together from the first, and known the universe would find a way to foist the two on him somehow.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Backstory featuring mentions of nonsexual abuse of a minor, non-explicit
> 
>  **Thanks:** Thank you to Neith for beta! (All the remaining mistakes are mine, I couldn't stop fiddling with the text...) Thank you to Gryph for the awesome book jacket! 
> 
> **Some useful vocabulary:**  
>  _yahren_ – year  
>  _quatron_ – month  
>  _secton_ – week  
>  _time cycle_ – day  
>  _centar_ – hour  
>  _centon_ – minute  
>  _micron_ – second
> 
> The rest should be understandable from the context, but let me know if you need a translation for something else! (Note, classic BSG's “frack” is not the same as the new version's “frak”, it's closer to “crap” in usage.)

[](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gryphon2k/657089/89819/89819_original.png.html)

It’s not like Starbuck ever showed he was nervous but Boomer did notice he’d been a little distracted during the last two pyramid hands. He was the only one, though, and only because he had known the man for yahrens. He wasn’t really surprised when Starbuck looked at his chrono and declared this would have to be his last hand because he didn’t want to miss the shuttle. 

He grinned at the expected quips but refused to name the beauty who called him away and made his exit with the usual swagger.

Boomer frowned. 

“What?” Jolly asked, noticing.

“Just wondering where he’s going, that’s all.”

“Uhh… the Star?” suggested Giles as if it should be obvious.

“He said he needed to catch the shuttle,” reminded Boomer.

“And…?” prompted Giles.

“Well, not the shuttle to the Rising Star,” Boomer pointed out. “Not this centar.” He had, after all, the schedule to the luxury liner memorised because of his own girl.

“So he has someone on some other ship. What’s the big deal? And speaking of dealing…”

The game went on, and nothing further was said.

\- - -

It didn’t take long for the others to start wondering about Starbuck’s new mystery woman as well. Mostly because he was not talking.

Well, of course he was _talking_ , he was Starbuck after all, but no details of his new conquest. No reminiscent smiles followed by telling sighs, no detailed descriptions… and not as much interest in flirting with other women.

He seemed to be off-ship for most of his free time, not spending nearly as much time playing pyramid as he used to, not showing up in the Star with his date, no nothing.

Even Apollo was starting to get worried. It’s not like he had that much time to spend with the others with his duties both as a strike captain and a father but he was used to Starbuck just… being there, and suddenly he wasn’t, not as much as he used to, and it took him a couple of sectons to realise _he_ didn’t go out as much as usual because Starbuck wasn’t dragging him out to just relax and have fun.

“Have you noticed…” he started to ask Boomer one cycle they were alone in the duty office.

“Starbuck?” Boomer guessed from his tone.

“Yeah. You think we should be worried?”

“With Bucko, you should always be worried,” the other man said dryly. “But this time, I’d say he seems… happy. For real.” 

Apollo only nodded, not admitting that that was indeed making him worried.

If Starbuck had really found someone, in the traditional, happily-ever-after, let’s-get-Sealed sense, where would it leave him? 

Alone.

\- - -

“We still practising later?” Apollo asked Starbuck when they were walking away from their vipers after an uneventful patrol flight.

“Of course. Why?” 

“It’s just that… you seem so busy lately. We haven’t done anything for ages, and I didn’t know if…” Apollo made himself shut up before he sounded more like a jealous ex. 

He wasn’t, he was just a friend. Best friend. It was his right to be worried about the state of their friendship, wasn’t it? After all, if Starbuck had found someone that was all he had left, all that he ever could have. And it would be enough. It would.

Not that he’d ever thought he had had a chance for something else but as long as Starbuck was unattached it was still in the realm of not-impossible.

“I’m sorry, Pol, I’ve just been… busy,” Starbuck finished a little lamely.

They walked in silence for a few steps.

“But you’re not going to tell me?” Apollo tried to make his tone light, and not let it sound like the accusation it felt like.

“I…” Did Starbuck look embarrassed? Ashamed? 

“Star,” Apollo said, gripping his arm to force him to stop, using his old nickname for him, one no one else used, to stress how serious he was—and maybe to regain some of the closeness he felt they'd lost lately. “If you were in some sort of trouble, you’d tell me, right?”

He was rewarded with a smile, the real kind, not the standard charmer. 

“Of course, Pol. Everything is fine. Perfect.”

Apollo believed him. And didn’t like it at all. Shouldn’t he be better than that? Wanting what was best for his friend?

But if this mystery woman was “the best” for Starbuck, why didn’t him bring her to meet his friends, his… family? Apollo and Boxey considered him family, and the blond had to know even Adama and Athena did, at least to some extent. Surely that should count for something? Surely any serious girlfriend would be presented to them?

“Pol? Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah... yeah, just thinking.” He searched for a safe subject. “Would you come by my quarters after the practice? Boxey wants to ask you to his birthday party.”

“Of course! I’ll have to ask if I can bring someone with me.”

Somehow, Apollo didn’t feel any happier with the prospect of his requirements being met. 

\- - -

“Is she nice?” Boxey asked suspiciously when Starbuck asked his question. Apparently he knew his uncle Starbuck very well.

“Yes, she’s very nice,” Starbuck answered, smiling. “She’s… special.”

“Okay,” the boy answered carelessly before running off to play in his room.

“Special, huh?” Apollo had to ask, and the smile he got in return hurt him like a broken rib tearing at his lung.

That smile was pure love, and he would have given anything to have it meant for him.

\- - -

What little pleasure Apollo could have gotten out of the arrangements for the party (he had delegated the work largely to his sister) were shadowed with the knowledge of Starbuck’s date. 

He would finally meet her, have to be polite, even look happy for his best friend. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to do it. 

Of course he could do it, on the outside. He was raised to hide what he felt, had trained to not show what he thought, and was reticent by inclination. Nothing of his pain would show. It wouldn’t prevent it from hurting, though.

He had plenty of experience on dealing with seeing his friend going out with other people, after all. It’s just that the other people had never been a serious threat for their relationship. Starbuck would always leave whomever to practice triad with him, to fly with him, to spend time with him.

Until… well, he didn’t even know his enemy’s name. Enemy… he didn't even know what he feared more: hating the woman—or liking her.


	2. Chapter 2

They had reserved one of the rec rooms for the party, no way all the guests would fit in their quarters. All of Boxey’s friends from instructional period were there, all of the Blue squadron, Adama, Athena, Sheba and even Cassie who had stayed a friend even though they had broken up—and finally stayed broken up—with Starbuck. 

While Apollo couldn’t understand how anyone could prefer Cain to Starbuck, he still found himself liking the woman more nowadays. He was so predictable.

Everyone else had arrived and was busy eating the treats Athena had managed to get someone to provide, and Boxey was opening his presents excitedly. Starbuck still hadn't shown up, and Apollo just kept getting more nervous the longer it took. He wanted to get this over with fast—like ripping a plaster off skin. Like jumping into a frozen stream. The longer it took the harder it would be to face them when they eventually arrived.

Trust Starbuck to make an entrance. Apollo had his back towards the doorway but he could tell the micron Starbuck arrived. A sudden hush came over the whole room, all the discussions quietened, even the riotous kids seemed to stop their loud games. Was Bucko's date that stunning? Apollo turned around slowly, suddenly wanting to not-know for as long as possible. 

Just as he caught a glimpse of his wingman he heard the “aww”s. 

Starbuck’s date was a girl, a little younger than Boxey. She was holding his hand tightly, looking a little nervous. She was blonde, even lighter than Starbuck, hair falling around her elfin face so that she seemed to almost hide behind it. 

Starbuck ignored all the stares and calmly led the girl to the birthday boy.

“Boxey, this is Gabriella; El, this is Boxey.”

“Happy birthday, Boxey,” she said, smiling shyly, and handing him the present she’d been holding.

“Thanks. Is she your daughter, Starbuck?” he asked, to the horror of his father and to the amusement of many others.

“No, Boxey, she is a dear friend.”

“Cool,” the boy said, then, opening the present to show a game he didn't yet own, “cool!” He beamed at the girl.

“Want to come see my presents? I got mushies! Do you like mushies? I like choco mushies best.”

He was babbling, and after a reassuring look from Starbuck, the girl joined him.

“Special, huh,” Apollo said quietly, coming to stand close to him.

“Very special,” he replied quietly, following her with a tender look.

“She’s an orphan, isn’t she?” He made it a question, but he was sure of it, even though he’d heard the muttered ‘his girlfriend has a kid?’ from Cassie. 

“Yeah.”

They didn’t have time for more before other curious friends surrounded Starbuck and Apollo had to concentrate on his son.

\- - -

The party was slowly winding down when the alarum sounded. Starbuck’s instinctive reaction was to start rushing out of the door but before he had taken one step his eyes were searching for El.

Apollo was with Boxey, and Athena was exchanging a word with their father before joining them.

“I can look after ‘Ella, too,” she told Starbuck. “We’ll be in Apollo’s quarters.”

“Thanks, ‘Thena. El, this is Aunt Athena.” He knelt down in front of the girl who hugged him tightly. “You’ll be safe with her. The shuttles won’t run while there’s an alarum on but I’ll get you back as soon as I can. Okay? You’ll be safe here.”

“Be careful,” El whispered against his neck. 

He closed his eyes, knowing how much she had lost already. 

“I will. Be good, sweetheart.” 

He got up, and hugged Boxey too.

“Thanks, Thenie,” he said again, and then they were running towards the lifts with Apollo.

“They’ll be okay with Athena,” Apollo reassured him in the lift.

“I know. It’s just… El hasn’t been… she doesn’t like strangers. Ever since she was returned to the orphanage.”

“Returned?”

Starbuck closed his eyes, not wanting to get into it at the moment, and luckily Apollo let the subject drop. Soon they had to separate anyway, and board their vipers.

\- - -

The battle took all of Starbuck’s attention, as always. Killing cylons and keeping Apollo safe, that was all. Except… it wasn’t. For the first time he was painfully aware of everything they were protecting. The humanity in its entirety represented by one golden haired girl. 

Ella, Boxey, Athena… Cassie, Salik, even. All those people back in the ships, all the other pilots… He had to force himself to stop thinking, to concentrate fully on his job for the first time in a long, long time.


	3. Chapter 3

They were quiet when they made their way towards his quarters. Apollo was too tired to bother Starbuck with the questions he had, and the other man volunteered nothing.

Athena stood up from the sofa when they came in.

“They are asleep in Boxey’s room. They’ve both been great. Worried, but not showing it. Ella is such a sweetheart! And Boxey! For a moment I was worried he might mock Ella for being so afraid but he was great—distracted her by games and toys. And I heard… Ella was crying, and before I got to her Boxey was touching her shoulder and telling her about his mother, and how his dad would keep them safe, his dad and her Starbuck. Oh, Apollo, he was such a little gentleman! They were no bother at all. Are you both all right?”

After their reassurances, she bid them good night, and Apollo saw new tenderness in her eyes when she looked at Starbuck. Was she getting serious about him again? Great, Gabriella wasn’t a threat on her own, but it suddenly occurred to Apollo that her mere presence in Starbuck’s life made him even more enticing to women.

They stood at Boxey’s door, looking at the peacefully sleeping children. Muffit was sitting in the middle of them, next to Boxey’s bed and the bed Athena had made for Ella on the floor. Apollo went to ruffle Boxey’s hair, touch his cheek, like he always did when returning home, Galactica safe once more. He noticed Starbuck doing similar things with Ella.

He left the room quietly and waited for Starbuck to join him.

“No reason for you to wake her up now, let her sleep. You can take her home in the morning. The couch is comfortable enough for you to sleep there for the night.”

“Thank you.”

Starbuck seemed a little dazed, to tell the truth, and Apollo decided he could do with a glass of ambrosa.

With a glass in hand, sitting side by side on the couch, Starbuck started talking.

“You know I’ve always visited orphanages when ever I have time, trying to give those kids something I know the workers often can’t—time, attention… The woman who took over the orphans in the flotilla used to run a home back on Caprica. She had an operation going on before we’d organised the Fleet! 

“At first, many people were adopting, friends took friends’ kids in, relatives sought each other… many seemed to react to the loss by being more charitable. Ella is from Caprica, she lost her whole family. Parents, siblings… the family she’d been visiting at the time of the attack took her in, they had a girl her age.

“It took a while for Arila to get the orphanage running, but when she did the first thing she did was go through all the kids who’d already found homes, to check up on them, like she’d have done back on Caprica.”

He took a quick drink and closed his eyes.

“And thank the Lords she did.” 

“Tell me,” Apollo prompted when he fell silent.

“She was so weak… Arila insisted they’d take her to the life centre. They’d used her to get extra rations, then gave those to their own daughter, and fed El just enough to keep her alive. The learning centres hadn’t been established properly yet, and no one had worried about not seeing her. 

“Arila took her back, immediately, even before she could make it official. Physically, she was soon okay. But her mind… she had retreated from the pain and fear and lovelessness. No one could reach her, she didn’t react to anything. She ate and slept and woke up like a machine.

“And the people at the orphanage—they are great, they are—but they don’t have enough time for any one child to really get through to them, not in that condition. Therapy did nothing.

“I… I started spending more and more time in her room. Every centon I could be away from Galactica. ‘Cause I’d been there. After the attack… that’s what I was like. So I knew she was there, somewhere, wanting to be dug up, by someone who cared enough.

“So I had to keep coming back, to show her she could trust me, trust that something—someone—stayed. I talked to her, read her stories, told her about Boxey, and Muffit, and you, and Ila… everything I could think of. The day she turned to look at me for the first time… I can’t describe the feeling. 

“Then she held my hand… and then, it seems, overnight, she was back. She was smiling, and laughing, and talking, and playing with the other kids and reacting to the workers… It was a miracle. I felt like I had won a war.”

He smiled but a little sadly.

“But that’s great. Isn’t it?”

“Yes, of course. But she still fears the thought of adoption. I don’t want her to grow up like me, never knowing family until she’s 16.”

His words were simple but they made Apollo feel warm inside. He knew what the other man was talking about, but Starbuck had never referred to it so blatantly.

“I’m happy I… we could give you that. But don’t you see? You’ve already given her that. Family is not about blood. It’s about knowing there’s someone who cares.”

He had to touch him, so he rested his hand on Starbuck’s shoulder. 

“Family is knowing there’s someone who’ll always be there. Someone you can trust. She can trust you, she _does_ trust you.”

“Were you scared?” Starbuck asked, turning to look at him. “When Boxey… when he started counting on you?”

“Don’t you remember?” Apollo asked, laughing a little. “I was terrified!”

“Boxey’s lucky, having you, not having to…”

“’Ella is lucky, too. She has you.”

\- - -

Apollo woke up, disoriented, but the sound of crying had him halfway to Boxey’s room before he realised it was not his son in tears, it was their guest. Starbuck was holding her tightly, whispering into her hair.

Apollo just knew the look in his own eyes must be the same as Athena’s had been. Tenderness was something not many people connected to the pilot. He’d known it was there, of course, but seldom so openly on display, and now that it was he found it very hard to hide his reaction to it.

He went back to bed silently so as not to disturb the pair.

\- - -

In the morning the tears had been forgotten, and the girl was laughing with Boxey when they ate breakfast. Starbuck was goofing around with them, and Apollo played the straight guy, serving food and pretending to scold them.

After Starbuck’s story, it felt like a victory when Ella smiled at him.

“Okay,” Starbuck declared all too soon. “Boxey, time for instructional period. Ella, I’ll take you home.”

Some of the shine seemed to leave the girl. 

“Okay,” she muttered, reaching for Starbuck’s hand.

“It’s okay,” Apollo said quietly. “You can come meet us again. We’d like that. Wouldn’t we, Boxey?” he prompted, hoping Athena had not been exaggerating with her ‘gentleman.’ 

He shouldn’t have doubted the big heart of his son.

“Of course!” Boxey said, smiling. “Any girl that isn't scared of crawlons and can almost beat me in Star Combat is cool!” 

He ran to his room and came back with the soft toy Ella had been cuddling in her sleep.

“Here, you take Bubbles. I’m too old for him anyway,” he said, by way of explanation, and Apollo felt proud. It seemed Starbuck’s stories about orphanages had connected in the boy's mind.

Ella muttered her pleased thanks, and clutched the avian toy against her chest as they left.

“That was a noble thing to do, Boxey,” Apollo said approvingly, and Boxey beamed at him.

“It was, wasn’t it?” 

\- - -

Starbuck held El on his lap in the shuttle. Not for safety but because he couldn’t bear to think about having to leave her in that place one more time. The orphanage was not like some he’d been in—it was light and joyful, and the children were well cared for… but it was still an orphanage.

He felt his steps turn slower the closer they came to the place, and El held his hand tightly.

“I’ll come visit you soon,” he said quietly. “I promise. And I won’t leave right away.”

She didn’t reply, only squeezed his hand harder.

Arila was the one who met them at the door.

“Good morning, Ella! I see you got some extended leave.” She said it with a smile, but Ella hung her head.

“It wasn’t Starbuck’s fault!” she said, defiantly.

“Of course not, honey. I was only joking. I’m glad the danger is over—for now—and that Starbuck has kept us safe again,” she said, taking the girl’s other hand. Her eyes met Starbuck’s, beaming over the progress the girl had made.

Couple of sectons ago she wouldn’t have dared to contradict an adult!

“Why don’t you go take your things to your room while I talk with Starbuck for a while, honey?”

“Okay,” she said obediently, turning to hug Starbuck.

He hugged her too tightly, he knew that, but she didn’t complain.

“I’ll come see you before I leave,” he said quietly.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

The adults looked after her when she started walking towards the room she shared with four other girls. Starbuck felt lonely already. It felt wrong for her to be walking away.

She stopped halfway, and turned to look at them. Starbuck opened his arms instinctively, kneeling, and she ran to him. It felt so right to hold her, to hug her close, to let her bury her face in his neck and turn his own to hide in her golden hair. He got up, holding her close, and turned to look at Arila with a determined expression on his face.

“Tell me straight, what are my changes of keeping her?” he said resolutely.

Ella raised her face from his shoulder to look at his face, beaming. Starbuck met her gaze and smiled back.

“I know we should have talked about it without her here, but I think we both need to know, Arila.”

He turned to look at her again and the old woman’s face was threatening to split open with a wide smile.

“Sold!”

“What?”

“Let’s face it, back on Caprica you wouldn’t probably stand a chance—single Warrior, always away. But things are different here. As a Warrior you have a secure job, and for that girl I believe you are the only, no, the _best_ possible home. Yours will not be the only two-member family around after the Destruction, and I believe you can manage as well as any other.” She looked at their beaming faces, and finished quietly: “Or better.”

“Go on. I’ll fill in the paperwork. You take your daughter home, Starbuck.”

“Daughter…” he whispered, looking at her smiling face.

“But don’t stop visiting us!” she reminded them.

\- - -

Of course it wasn’t as simple as just leaving. They had to pack what little she owned—some clothes and toys—and to say goodbye to the other children. Starbuck gave many hugs and promised to come see them still, but all the while he kept one hand on El, who hadn’t stopped smiling.

“You do know I know nothing about being a father, don’t you?” he asked El in the shuttle on the way back. 

“We’ll learn,” she said, too mature for her years.

“We will. But up to now I’ve just been a friend. Being a father means I’ll make rules, and you’ll have to do what I say,” he said mock-sternly.

“Like sleeping times?” she asked eagerly, and he nodded. She beamed. “Sounds great!”

“You are such an abnormal child,” he said, shaking his head sadly.

“Well, you are an abnormal adult, so we match!” she said and giggled.


	4. Chapter 4

Apollo would always claim he was not surprised, really, to open his door to see a sheepishly smiling Starbuck holding Ella’s hand only centares after they left. He’d say he’d seen the ties that bound the two together from the first, and known the universe would find a way to foist the two on him somehow.

He smiled, and motioned them to come in. Boxey was still away, but Ella was welcome to play in his room while the grown ups talked. 

“I couldn’t leave her there,” Starbuck said, willing to explain.

“I know the feeling.”

“Pol… what am I going to do? I can’t take her to the Bachelors' barracks. And I don’t know anything about being a father!”

“Thanks to Boxey, you know more than I did when I became a father,” Apollo reminded him, warmed by the true emotion in his friend’s eyes—not many ever saw this side of Starbuck.

“But you had Serina.”

“You have me,” Apollo said, and went on before Starbuck could say that it was not the same thing. “Come on, you need to contact the quartermaster to discuss getting you family quarters. You can both stay here for as long as you need, I’ll okay your absence from the barracks with the Fleet while I’ll inform them of your changed status. Then we need to… I mean, you need to enrol her in the instructional periods…”

He was afraid he’d scared his friend by sounding too involved but Starbuck only smiled gratefully.

“Thanks. This has jarred my chips so much I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

\- - -

Luckily Boxey was still happy to share his room with a girl for another night but Starbuck knew that as much as he enjoyed staying with his best friend this could only be a temporary solution. Unfortunately the quartermaster had nothing to offer him at the moment—there just weren't any free rooms for them, not on Galactica, and he could hardly live on some other ship as a Warrior. 

It was Apollo who came up with a solution again. 

They had been bunking with Apollo and Boxey for a secton or so, and it was going better than any of them could have thought, but it was still obvious there was too little room for two active kids, a drone daggit, and two grown men. Starbuck knew they'd have to go but hated the idea already because... it was good. He was learning how to handle El in this new setting from how Apollo handled Boxey, and the other man was equally heroic here as he was at work.

He was kind but firm, loving and funny but strict and unyielding when warranted, and sleep times were held, primaries got eaten, and kids got to instructional period on time. It was like magic. 

Of course El was an angel in the beginning, too used to things falling apart to trust that this could last, too afraid or pleased to make trouble, to join in on Boxey's bedtime mutiny, to complain about the food, to do anything to make Starbuck send her back. 

He had to be make extra sure she was getting enough to eat because she would never complain about hunger, would never ask for more food unless prompted. 

And Starbuck wasn't used to being the responsible one! Not used to looking after anyone but himself and Apollo, and even then it usually didn't involve making sure the other man ate. It wasn't like he grudged having another person to look after, or the work required, he just... wasn't used to it. His mind would wonder, or he'd get stuck talking and for a centon he'd forget he had places to be, people to see... people to _be_ : Starbuck, the father of a little girl. Somewhere the Lords of Kobol were laughing their astrums off. 

Still. It was good, El was his princess, and it helped so much to have their little family join the other small family of Apollo and Boxey's because they had it all figured out: meal times, bed times, story times. 

He was frankly more than a little apprehensive to go at it alone, when he alone would be responsible for the life and happiness of one fragile little human. 

So when Apollo came to him in a weird mood, hovering somewhere between nervousness and smugness, if that was even possible, he was predisposed to say yes to any suggestion that allowed them to stay. 

“I got to thinking,” Apollo started, not quite meeting his eyes. 

“I've told you that's dangerous, Pol, you should not try that alone.”

“Ha ha. I mean, you and Ella... it's been good, right?”

“Why? What's wrong? Don't you think I should keep her? Do you think it wasn't the right thing for her?”

“What? No! No, I mean, she's great, you two are obviously a family, it's all right, right? I mean, you two, staying with us.”

“Yes. And I'm sure we'd both love to stay but...”

“But. And there are no rooms for you to move in.”

So far this was nothing new, why was Apollo so giddy?

“But I asked, and the Quartermaster actually has a bigger place available—a set of four rooms. He wouldn't give that to one adult and one child, but to two adults and two children, now that might be another thing entirely.”

“Pol? Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

“If you think I'm asking you guys to move in with us on a more permanent basis, then... yes.”

“Are you sure? I mean, what if you and Sheba...”

“Me and Sheba, what? Oh no, no. We're not. I doubt there'll be anyone I'd want to... invite in. And you'd have your own room so if you want to bring someone...”

“Like I'd just bring a date to a home I share with El!”

“Right. Okay. I just... it could work?”

“Of course it would, Apollo, you are a genius, and I could ki... well, maybe not. Let's go ask the kids.”

\- - - 

When Boxey heard that the new solution gave him back a room of his own, as well as kept his favourite uncle around, not to mention an ever present play partner, he was all for it. 

Ella was more subdued in her joy, but she still obviously approved, climbing up on the sofa to offer both Starbuck and surprised but pleased Apollo a hug.

And that was that. There was the expected ribbing in the ranks about Starbuck's quick descent into housewifehood, with two kids and a spouse, but as he could still fly circles around any of them, he just laughed at the jibes. 

Only Boomer appeared worried, but when pressed, refused to elaborate on his, “if you two are sure about this, then I will support you.” 

Starbuck decided to not to question his friend on what he _thought_ was going on.

\- - -

Apollo hadn't shared with Starbuck since their Academy days, but the other man was surprisingly easy to live with. Of course it wasn't perfect, they bickered about meal times and food choices, how much to have the kids participate in chores, whether Muffit _really_ needed to take part in everything... Occasionally, it was like fighting things out with Boxey.

But Starbuck was also surprisingly good in the mornings, making sure both of the kids got their breakfasts down, not hogging the turboshower, and in the evenings, it was... nice to have another adult around, nice to have the companionship without having to go out to search it. He hadn't been allowed to keep Serina for long, but it sort of felt the same: having someone else to share the parental duties as well as the joys, to share his own worries and joys.

He knew it probably wasn't the best plan in the world for his heart, this little make believe family they were building... No, not make-believe, they _were_ a family, even if a little unconventional one. Still, he knew there was no way he would be allowed to keep the man he loved, and the girl he was learning to love as much as his son, not for good. Starbuck was such a passionate person, he would fall in love again, would want a real relationship, maybe a mother to his daughter and... well, another dad, a platonic life mate, was not really what he'd want long term.

\- - -

Starbuck had been absent from Adama's sectonly family dinner—where he had always been welcomed to—ever since he came home with El, but the Commander had invited the two especially this secton.

El was of course excited about meeting Boxey's grandpa, and to see Aunt Thena again. She was actually surprisingly eager to meet strange adults, but when Starbuck remarked on this to Apollo, his friend just looked at him with a silly smile.

“What?”

“You don't see it, do you?”

“See what?”

“How much she has already changed now that your position in her life is official.”

“Really?”

“Really. She trusts you, and as such, she trusts the people you trust. I mean, she's comfortable around me now.”

“Well, you she more than trusts, Pol. You're hers, too, in a way. You and Boxey are family.”

“That must be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.”

“I know, I think I'll start growing tits next, this domesticity is not good for my image.”

“Your secret's safe with me.”

It was a night of many such emotional scenes for Starbuck, but in this case he couldn't really complain, because when he presented his little princess, in a dress made from the material from his destroyed dress uniform, to Commander Adama, he knelt down to meet El at her level.

“Boxey is lucky to have a grandpa! I had two when I was little. Grandpas are great.”

“Well, Ella, I have always considered your adopted father another son, so if Boxey doesn’t mind, maybe you could think of me as your grandpa, too.”

Starbuck had known it of course. Their home had always been open to him, from the Academy holidays on, Adama had always shown his quiet pride in him just as in his own kids, and had scolded him more like family than a commanding officer, had let him get away with things no other commander would but... but it had never been said aloud. 

They—he—didn't talk about these things, and frack but there was some dust in his eyes. Apollo rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly. “Secret. Safe.”

Starbuck elbowed him on the side, and then they both laughed, and Ella joined in when Adama scooped her up into a hug, and life was pretty fracking perfect at the moment.

\- - - 

It had been sectons when Apollo realised he hadn't been out into the Officers' mess for a long time, unless for a meal with the kids. And that meant _Starbuck_ hadn't been out for cycles. He had to do something about that. As admirable as the lieutenant's commitment to fatherhood was, it shouldn't have to mean he had to give up everything he enjoyed. Well, except for the fumarillos, Apollo was glad he'd stopped smoking those.

He didn't want the other man to start resenting what they had, even unconsciously, or try to change himself too radically to fit some imagined mould of fatherhood. But as it had always been Bucko nudging Apollo to go out more, he wasn't quite sure how to go about suggesting a night out without it sounding like a date night, now that babysitters were a requirement for both of them.

Maybe he would just have to man up and talk to the other man about it.

\- - -

The kids were asleep, the game they had all been playing was still spread on the table in front of the couch, and the adults were sipping their well deserved classes of ambrosa when Apollo dredged up his nerve to talk about what he'd thought about earlier. 

“You know, Bucko, I can look after El some evening if you want to get out.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, join a game, visit the Star?”

“Why would I want to?”

“But you used to love doing that. I thought you'd miss it.”

“Maybe. But I don't need it. I've got this, 'Pol.”

The words could have been sarcastic, the gesture towards the messy game and uncollected dishes accusatory, but it wasn't. The man was deadly serious. 

“Star...” Almost unconsciously Apollo slipped back to the nickname of their youth, the one not used in public, because it always reminded Apollo of the young man behind the brash persona of “Bucko.”

“It's always been a trade,” Starbuck said, voice thoughtful. “I've always had to... give something, pay something, to have a good time, to be around people.

“I learnt it early. No one gives the time of day to a penniless orphan unless he has something else to give. So I gave them all something. People want to hang around someone who looks good, to be entertained, to laugh, to get something out of it. Sometimes it's a trade in kind, sometimes it's sex, sometimes just being around someone who seems to be having fun. Well, I couldn't buy them drinks, or offer anything in financial or prestige sense, but I could entertain them.

“So I became Starbuck the ladies' man, Starbuck the gambler, Starbuck the teller of tall tales. I traded the experience of basking in his glory to pay for the company of people.”

Apollo was shocked as much by the revelation as by the delivery. The tone meant the other man had thought about this, a lot, a level of understanding and self reflection it portrayed almost surprising, even if he knew very well the shallow exterior Starbuck presented to the world was just that, an exterior, an armour, a façade he used to hide the deeply feeling man he was inside.

“Maybe there were too many women. Maybe I was looking for wrong things, or accepted wrong things in the place of what I really wanted. Who knows? I like sex, but at times, it's just a way to get what you really want, you know? Closeness. Illusion of trust. Warmth. Or just a place to sleep. Not because you don't have a bed to call your own but the bed is cold and claustrophobic and reminds you too much of too many bad places.

“It's not even a conscious role, these days. The Starbuck experience. The gambling, smoking, womanising, high flying, bragging wonder that is me.” The grin was pure Bucko but then it softened into a real smile. “And now I have this, and I don't have to pay for an evening like this with my favourite people with anything but being me. It's... staggering.”

He shrugged, like the revelations were nothing, like the openness wasn't beautiful in its rareness, and Apollo wanted to hug him even more than he wanted to kiss him, wanted to thank him for the trust, for the warmth, for the sign he meant so much to him, and just for enjoying their home so much, for feeling so safe in there, with him, to share all this. 

He didn't, of course. He leaned back on the sofa, his shoulder touching Starbuck's, and nursed his drink as they started talking about something completely different, but the smile didn't leave his face. (Even if he only realised it as he was going to sleep, hours later.)

So maybe he didn't have everything he wanted, but he had this, and it was pretty damn sweet on its own. Maybe it would be enough. Or maybe... maybe it didn't have to be? Starbuck had said spending time with him, with them, was more important than going out, than having sex, and could that really be just because they were friends? Just because he had a child now? 

Maybe... maybe it didn't have to be “platonic life mates” for ever?


	5. Chapter 5

“Starbuck! Star!” Apollo's voice kept getting more panicked at each repetition of his wingman's name.

This wasn't how it went, no, they cleared the threat to the fleet and then they flew back, banged and bruised maybe, vipers smoking, but they made it back, alive. A few stray cylon ships wouldn't take out their best pilot, even if the said pilot was a stupid modocker filled with _felgercarb_ who took hits meant for his captain.

Starbuck's viper was still flying towards Galactica, he had to have activated the stripped down version of CORA now a standard feature in all vipers, but the comline stayed silent, too silent, there was even no swearing, no harsh, pained breathing, nothing but the silence of space and the frantic beat of his own pulse in his ears. Starbuck had to be okay, he had to, he always was, he was just being dramatic, just... 

Apollo was praying harder than he could ever remember praying, more intently than the other times the man had been in danger, when Boxey had been in danger, when Serina had died... because they were so close now, so close to what he really wanted, they were a family of sorts even if he and Star weren't a couple, but surely that was only a matter of time, surely Starbuck wouldn't have accepted their current arrangements if he wasn't open to... He knew the other man loved him, he just didn't know if it was the kind of love he himself felt for him—not like Boomer, not like brothers, not just friends. 

The other man couldn't die now, not now when he was so close to finding out if they could... and Gabriella, Starbuck couldn't do this to her. She had lost enough in her life.

“You hear that, Star? You have to live, you have a daughter who depends on you, you have a _family_ that loves you, you have to come back.”

\- - -

At least Starbuck was still alive when they extracted his broken body from the viper and rushed him straight to the life centre. Apollo wanted to follow, but had to detour by his father's quarters because the children were there. 

Boxey was playing on the floor with Muffit but Ella was by the door the centon Apollo walked in, her face pale and her eyes huge and scared. She knew something was wrong, maybe she'd heard something when Adama was being kept posted, or maybe she had sensed her grandpa's worry, or maybe could just read the expression on Apollo's face, no matter how hard he tried to shield the kids from his concern.

“He's alive,” he said, dropping down to kneel on the floor and collect her into a tight hug. “Your dad's alive, sweetheart, but he's been hurt.”

“Uncle Starbuck?” Boxey had joined them, arms around both of them, his own voice small and frightened.

“We have to get to the life centre,” Apollo said, trying to get up from the pile of worried kids.

“Are you sure?” Adama asked, quietly. “It could be traumatic for...”

Three pairs of accusing eyes met the commander's, and he raised his hands in a placating gesture. “All right.”

Ella wouldn't let go of Apollo, so he ended up carrying her all the way to the life centre, one arm around her, the other hand holding Boxey's. He felt like a father of them both, he _was_ a father to them both, and his life partner was fighting for his life—and it didn't even matter whether he was a platonic life partner or not—they were a family, in it for the long haul, all of them. How stupid his earlier fears seemed now. They _were_ a family. Living apart would not change that. Even Starbuck finding a new lady friend would not change that.

Now the man just needed to survive this, and Apollo could tell him as much. And he would live, because his daughter needed him, his _son_ needed him, and Apollo needed him. And the three of them would make sure Starbuck would be okay.

And Gods help anyone who tried to stop Starbuck's family from staying with him while he recovered.

\- - -

Starbuck looked small on the bed. Small, and pale, and quiet in a way he never was, not even in sleep. Apollo had happened to walk by a few times when he had still been sleeping on the sofa, and if he had stopped to admire the sight in the low lighting of the night cycle, well, who would know. Then Starbuck had been restless, eyes moving under the lids as he dreamt, his lips parting for a breath, for a smile... Now his face was still, untouched but for the bruise on his temple, the broken parts of him hidden by the blanket. 

Five cracked ribs, left leg broken in three different places, fractured pelvis, broken arm, wrist, three fingers. Bruises along the whole left side. The helmet had protected his head but the impact had crushed him against the side of his viper and it would take a long time for him to bounce back from this. 

But he would. He would wake up, get up, and get better. There was no other choice. He just had to wake up first. 

Salik tried to explain that the longer he stayed unconscious the better, as it would give his body time to heal without him having to suffer the bed rest but Apollo knew it wasn't that simple, knew from Cassiopeia's worried frown, from the other med techs' hushed voices, from the tests that increased as time passed. 

Apollo was there. He knew he had duties, and a part of him was guilty for leaving them for others to take care of, but he had two children to look after, two pairs of arms clinging to him, two frightened faces staring after him if he had to leave them for someone else to look after, even for a moment. 

He hardly left them to use the turboflush. Boxey had gotten even closer to his favourite uncle now that he was around all the time and Ella... Ella knew all too well what could happen, what always happened, and she was the one most convinced her dad would not wake up again.

She was still there, she still hoped, but it was heartbreaking to see the pain and fear in her eyes.

“What will happen to me?” she asked one night cycle, quiet and scared, small hand holding Starbuck's unmarred right hand with desperate strength.

Apollo didn't even need to think. He pulled the girl onto his lap, even while making sure her grip on her father's hand didn't loosen. “You'll stay with us.”

“Really?”

“We're family,” he said simply. “You're a part of our family, and Boxey and me will not let you be taken away, not ever.”

“Not ever,” Boxey muttered sleepily from his side, and Apollo smiled proudly and ruffled his hair. 

Maybe it wouldn't be that easy, if Starbuck did not wake up. Apollo had no legal status on either one's life—Starbuck's _or_ Ella's—but he couldn't believe Arila, whom he'd met on several occasions now as Starbuck had taken the whole family with him on his visits to the orphanage, would try to take Ella back from her family.

Because that's what they were, even if no one shared blood with any other member of their little group; Apollo was a father of two and so was Starbuck. 

\- - -

They did not just sit passively around in the life centre, they talked to Starbuck constantly, and when they ran out of stories to tell, they read to him. 

Ella read to him.

Apollo was reminded of Starbuck's words from when he'd first told Apollo about Ella's past _“I talked to her, read her stories, told her about Boxey, and Muffit, and you, and Ila… everything I could think of.”_ Now his daughter was giving him the same life line in the form of a steady stream of a familiar voice, whether she was reading the well-known stories he'd once read to her, or just talking about their lives, the repetition of familiar names a reminder of all the people who loved him.

Apollo wondered if Starbuck's father had ever read stories for him when he was a child. He somehow doubted that, having met the man. Oh, he could spin a story at moment's notice, but Chameleon had never struck him as a storybook type. 

But Adama did. When Ella fell asleep while reading a fairytale from a pad that housed all her favourite stories, Adama took the pad from her lax fingers and went on with the tale. 

When Apollo looked at him he shrugged. “I never got to read him stories when he was a child,” Adama said with just a hint of defensiveness, and Apollo had to get out of the room so he wouldn't cry.

He met Cassie just outside the door, and she just smiled when he saw the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

“I know it's not my place,” she said quietly, “but I'm so happy you found your way to each other in the end.”

“We aren't...” he couldn't even finish the sentence before choking on the words, on his unvoiced hopes.

“Aren't you?” The words were too knowing, but her expression remained kind.

“It won't matter if he won't wake up.”

“Oh, you know Bucko. The drama queen is just waiting for a sufficiently dramatic moment for a big resurrection scene.”

\- - -

It was an evening like any other, with the three of them gathered around Starbuck's bed, settled comfortably around the machines and wires, taking turns to read stories from Ella's pad. They had become accustomed to the waiting game—if Starbuck wasn't worse, he had to be better, as Salik kept saying, and for now they were content to just sit by him, be there for him.

Ella was the one with the pad at the moment, and it was one of those little jokes university and the Lords of Kobol liked to play at them that she was reading a story of a princess who had slept for a hundred yahrens before being woken by a kiss when there was a sound none of them were really expecting.

“Isn't it past your bedtime?” a voice muttered from the bed, and the whole room froze.

“You don't even know what time it is,” Apollo choked out, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, trying to do both, and Ella was sobbing in his father's arms and it was all straight from a vid of hospital drama and Apollo couldn't care less. Starbuck had come back, in the way only he could, and was going to be okay. 

Salik's rare and benevolent smile as he finished his check was proof of that.

\- - -

Waking up didn't mean getting out of the life centre, unfortunately, and Starbuck had to be content with staying in his bed while the worst of his injuries healed. He kind of missed the constant companionship and the stories now that El and Boxey had had to return to take part in the instructional period as he was out of danger.

They still spent most of their free time in his room, of course, and Apollo was around as much as he could from the duties he had resumed. Even Adama spent time by his bed, even if it was only to read reports of missions he wasn't able to take part in until he got better. 

Sometimes they were all there at the same time, sometimes one or two at a time. Once, when Apollo was the only one around he said something that made Starbuck doubt his hearing, sanity, or both.

“We have to get sealed,” Apollo declared.

“What?” Starbuck blinked, wondering if he'd forgotten something important due to the head injury.

“You do realise I have no official position in Ella's life? If you had... been indisposed, I wouldn't have the legal right to keep her and the bureauticians could just take her away from the only family she has. So, we need to get sealed so that I can adopt Ella... and you can adopt Boxey. That way their position is secure no matter what happens to either one of us.”

“So... we should get married... for the kids,” Starbuck repeated slowly.

“Yes.” Apollo nodded to reinforce his reply.

“Pol...”

“Well.” Apollo looked at his hands. “Not... just for the kids. Star, I... am not good at this.”

Starbuck couldn't believe this was how this was happening, after all these yahrens. He started smiling.

“Well, just a small hint, next time, don't lead with the kids.”

“Next time?” Apollo looked up and his eyes seemed to settle on Starbuck's smiling lips. Starbuck figured that was a good sign.

“No next time. Never ever propose to anyone else. Or proposition anyone else. I assume that is implied in your... arrangement?”

“Star?”

“Yes, you stupid, romance-challenged man, we should totally get sealed. For the kids.”

Then Starbuck kissed him, and as Apollo kissed him back—enthusiastically too—Starbuck figured they were actually, finally both on the same page.

Or bed. (Much to Salik's dismay.)


	6. Chapter 6

Unfortunately love isn't a miracle cure, and Starbuck was still stuck in the life centre for long sectons before Salik finally allowed him home. He was better, if not quite back to his usual self, and the doc hadn't even considered clearing him for flying, or even office duty. 

They celebrated with a quiet-ish family dinner before Apollo pawned the kids off to his father for the night cycle. 

It was hard enough for him to discuss matters of the heart with Starbuck when they were alone, the presence of their kids would guarantee he would skip any thought of serious discussion about their relationship. But he knew they had to do a little better than “marry me for the kids” and “of course, idiot.” That wasn't his description of the scene; Starbuck would probably keep mocking him about it for the rest of their lives. Apollo could live with that as long as the man was around to do so for a long, long time.

Uncharacteristically, Starbuck seemed hesitant as well. Or maybe it wasn't that uncharacteristic after all, it _was_ a serious discussion about their feelings which, for them, was as natural as Muffit, and from which the extended stay in the life centre and its decided lack of privacy had protected them from.

“How about we skip what ever you are planning, and just go to bed,” Starbuck said, with a dash more “Bucko” than Apollo felt comfortable with. 

“Star,” he said slowly, and perhaps surprisingly that was enough to gentle the other man's smile. 

“I know, Pol.”

What Starbuck knew, or thought he knew, was not very clear for Apollo as he himself didn't really know what he had been going to say... but maybe Starbuck really knew him that well, because he took his hand and sat down on the sofa. 

Without letting go of his hand.

“It's okay, Pol,” he said. “We can take this as slow as you want.”

“The speed is not the issue. At all.”

Starbuck's grin would have been pure Bucko, but the joy was more real, somehow.

“Why, 'Pollo, is _that_ why you got rid of the kids?”

“We still should talk first!”

“That was not a denial, sweetheart.”

“No, of course not, of course I want... Star, I love you.” There, he'd said it.

“I know, we did this bit already. I love you too, have loved you way before we started playing house, would like to keep playing house with you for the rest of our natural lives, us and the kids and the fake daggit, is there something more we need to talk about?”

“Ella wants a felix.”

“Really? That's what you want to talk about now?”

They were supposed to have a serious discussion, why were they talking about artificial animals?

“No.” He sighed, looking down at his knees. He still didn't know how to do this.

“Apollo.” 

He looked up at his best friend, swallowing when he recognised the softness of his expression as something he'd only ever seen when the man looked at his daughter. 

“I'm in this for the long flight, you know that. We've already done this, have been doing this... family thing. This is just... this is just bringing everything that's been hidden into the open. Is there really something you feel we haven't already dealt with?”

Apollo looked at him like a revelation, then smiled widely. “No, I suppose not. When do we tell the kids?”

“Morning is soon enough, surely,” Starbuck said hastily, and did the man really think Apollo was going to go talk to them now, and waste this gloriously child-free night? 

Judging from the hesitant look, maybe he did. Apollo smiled even wider as he got up, pulling his betrothed by the hand he was still holding, and made his way to a bedroom which they would share from now on, and proceeded to prove to him that slow was overrated. 

\- - -

They did talk with the children eventually. Well, not about the part where they had been in love with each other since probably their Academy days, because for one, they wouldn't appreciate the mushiness, and two, Starbuck didn't think their mutual blindness was a flattering image to give to their kids of their parents. 

Parents. In plural. As in two. Two kids, and two parents, and Starbuck was a little worried about what would change but Apollo just smiled, and told him of his own realisation that that was just how they had already been. 

Now they'd just remove the “platonic” from before the word “life partner” and the more he thought about it, the more inevitable it felt. 

He did also worry that El might be jealous of not being the sole most important person in her dad's life, but realised soon that for her and Boxey nothing was really changing—for them their parents had already been like any other parents. They had believed their parental unit was together all the time. It's what parents were, after all, and they were too young to see deeper meanings in it. Their parents were like anyone else's, so obviously they should be married. Maybe they were a little surprised that they _hadn't_ been, actually.

Like Boomer, who had thought they were together all along, so that when they came to him with worries about changing things he just stared at them in dismay, asking why anything should change with a simple ceremony, a signed piece of paper and a legal term to use of each other. 

\- - -

So nothing really changed. Except now Arila was trying to foist more children on them. They politely declined, stating that two was quite enough. Two kids and an artificial daggit. Starbuck refused to even consider an artificial felix for El. No matter how many times she asked. Or blinked her bright beseeching eyes at him. He would stay strong.

The ceremony was lovely, the piece of paper easily signed, and now they could legally call each other “husband.” But the latter thing opened a whole new set of issues.

These things weren't really talked about in their family, the bonds implicit more than explicit. But one conversation they had to have was about definitions. Words, things to call each other. That Starbuck and Apollo were spouses and husbands was a legal fact. That Ella and Boxey were siblings was quickly accepted, both seemingly getting a kick from calling each other “sister” and “brother.” 

And Apollo was Boxey's dad, had been from the beginning. But if Starbuck was Ella's dad, then they had two “dads”, and two “uncles,” but Starbuck maintained that Apollo was as much Ella's parent as he, and the adoption paperwork supported that, so where did that leave them?

Apollo tried to suggest Starbuck being “papa” instead, but as little memories as Ella had of her birth parents—even less than one would expect from her age due to the trauma of losing them and the trauma that followed—she could remember having had a papa and a mama, and therefore that word was out. 

It wasn't a problem for the children, of course, they knew who they were talking about when they said 'dad': at first their own dads, and very soon “uncle” was forgotten as well as “your dad” and “my dad”, and both men were bestowed the same name in praxis. 

Starbuck may have noticed a sheen of moisture in Apollo's eyes the first time El consciously called him “dad,” but he wouldn't dream of mocking his husband because he had damn well cried himself when El had gifted him with the name, almost a yahren ago. And yes, okay, there might have been a mushy lodged in his throat the day he realised Boxey was considering him a parent as well.

In the end they just shrugged it off. The children knew who they were talking about, and if a clarification was needed and a separation of terms relevant, they used a clarifier, at first “your,” then later, as they got older, a name, as over the yahrens they forgot there had ever been a situation when Apollo was only Boxey's dad, or Starbuck only Ella's. 

So it was Apollo and Starbuck, Boxey and El, Muffit... and the damn artificial felix, named Bug. Because Starback was always such a pushover when it came to his daughter.

\- The End -

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for "Little Star"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840793) by [Gryph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryph/pseuds/Gryph)




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